Are you in a celebrity Marriage?
It’s actually helpful for us to see celebrities go through the marriage cycle so quickly in the case of Nicholas Cage and Lisa-Marie Presley 107 days!! It’s a snap shot of what some people endure for 20-30-40 years of unhappy marriage.
What are people (including celebrities) really looking for? They genuinely want to be happy, but they have been sold a lie of what will bring happiness, a really ‘happy’ marriage. But before we get anywhere near marriage we have to look at why relationships start in the first place.
People WANT a relationship to bring them something, to meet THEIR needs. They want a relationship to GET something for themselves, sure they want to give as well, but primarily the human condition is to meet our OWN needs. Unfortunately both sides of the relationship will be trying to do the same thing, TAKING what they need from the other person and when we ‘fall in love’ we are more than happy to do that. Overtime though, as we all know, we ‘fall out of love’, this condition exists because the two sides of the relationship have become tired of the giving that they agreed to at the beginning. Some time later, either one or both sides gets really tired of giving and they don’t give as much as they once did, then the other partner will also begin to stop giving or over compensate and CLING on to prevent the other person from leaving the relationship.
It always! always, always winds up in the sh*t heap.
So what can we do differently, we find a way to become WHOLE first before the relationship even begins and we find a source of what we need outside of the relationship, we find people that can accept us and love us unconditionally so that we can take what we have and GIVE to the relationship rather than go and take it.
The former builds the relationship on sand, but the latter builds it on rock, one will withstand the test of severe weather, the other will crumble in the slightest breeze or arrival of rain.