What do kayaking and marriage have in common?
On a recent kayaking trip in the Wye Valley I observed many similarities between nature, the river, kayaking and....you guessed it, marriage.
There is a natural order to everything, the arrival of lambs in spring, the blooming of flowers in spring, the movement of large quantities of water through the river as it returns back to its source. The way humans breath in oxygen and breathe out CO2, the way trees breathe in CO2 and breathe out oxygen. Nature has its own rhythm, its own flow, with little or no input needed from human beings.
Like Marriage then raj and every marriage has its own slow and natural rhythm, both partners come together with their very own beat, their own piece of music, individually each piece of music is beautiful in its own right, yet when the music can be arranged in harmony the music not only complements one another but actively improves it. The rhythm is actually discovered by doing some hard work, like in nature is there suffering YES, are there hardships YES, does nature endure pain to grow and evolve - yes it really does so why are we any different?
Here are the top 5 things you need to know when discovering your partners rhythm
Listen to them - expertly
Be clear in asking for what you want from them (no demands, expectations or behaviours to control or manipulate them)
Give everything you have - put it all in the same pot (don't keep score or measure how much you are bringing and what you are getting in return
Frequently ask your partner what they need and what do they need from you (multiple times per day if you have too)
Don't let conflict grow, talk about EVERYTHING, have multiple meetings for relationship, money, sex, kids
Finally don't be afraid to ask God for help, we all need it, yup even you!